Failure in film


This past weekend my grandmother told me that she hated to go to the movies. I asked her why and she said because there is nothing showing except smut. My grandmother is an ultra-conservative but she does have a point. Writers have stopped trying as hard to make good movies. I'll give you an example. I recently saw the movie 'Saw II'. Holy shit it was bad!! I wanted to get some holy water, a young priest, an old priest and perform an exorcism. The sad part is that the theater was pretty full and people were actually leaving the theater entertained. I don't pretend to be an elitist but it is just my opinion that if you have two brain cells you would not enjoy the film. It tried to pass gore off as horror. 'The Omen' was scary. 'Poltergeist' was scary. 'Saw II' made me feel sterile and disgusted.
After thinking about 'Saw II' I looked at some of the other options in the theater and thought about it. 'Doom' starring the Rock was showing but I don't think a first-person shooter game would translate well to film. There was also 'The Weatherman' which I heard was depressing and subpar. What happened to good movies?
Fortunately film companies are starting to market for Oscar season which has officially started. I haven't seen 'Walk the Line' but I hear it is supposed to be this year's 'Ray' and garner Oscar attention for Reese Witherspoon as June Carter and Joaquin Phoenix as the man in black Johnny Cash. 'Memoirs of a Geisha' is coming out soon, which is supposed to be good. There is 'Capote', starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Truman Capote. But the movie which is supposed to be the film is 'Brokeback Mountain' which is based on Anne Prolux's short story about two gay cowboys. It seems like a oxymoron, but it is supposed to be pretty good. The question is how to market such a movie and will anyone see it. I live in the Bible Belt and I really don't think the idea of two men in a love story will sell. I'm not saying that the movie isn't valid. It has swept all the film festivals at Toronto and New York. The notion of shifting the idea of homosexuality to being one of semi-normalcy is a tough pill to swallow for a lot of people. I'm curious just to see how Mr. Ang Lee pulled it off.
But still the question remains. Why make bad movies? Maybe the more essential question is what makes a bad movie? In my skewed estimation I think a bad movie results from 1. a lack of plot, 2. a lack of believability in the characters, 3. a lack of connection between the audience and the film, 4. a failure to entertain, and 5. an ending that is totally without purpose or validity. The thing that is particularly disturbing for me is that movies cost a tremendous sum of money to finance. Sometimes companies invest hundreds of millions of dollars into making a film. $100 million dollars to make movies like 'Titanic' (which only caught my interest when Kate Winslet was in the nude) 'The English Patient' (I've had more fun in dental surgery than watching that movie) and 'Waterworld' (which proves there is a Hell). Not every movie has to win an Academy Award to be considered valid but they should be able to make the audience think as well as be entertained.
I'll list characteristics for a good movie 1. it should allow the audience to suspend their disbelief without conflict, 2. The characters should be dynamic and believable, 3. The plot should escalate at a reasonable and balanced pace, filling in details yet not being monotonous, 4. the audience should be able to connect on some level to the plight of the characters, 5. the film exposes ideals and concepts that are challenging yet vital to the audience in its explanation of the human condition, and 6. the film entertains on a level that usurps the budget of the film and actually is good because the actors and directors have mastered their craft and not because Industrial Light and Magic has developed a special effect which is visually stimulating.
Some relatively recent movies that are good in my estimation:

1. American Splendor
2. The Tao of Steve
3. Love and Basketball
4. Lost in Translation
5. The Virgin Suicides
5. Shaun of the Dead

What Women Want Part II


I suppose its time I actually start prescribing something for the problem between men and women. The main problem is one of communication. What I mean is that there is a lot of talk on both sides. Men and women talk to the point of exhaustion about a plethora of bullshit. We also bullshit each other repeatedly. For some reason most relationships are not predicated on trust, but on the facade of companionship. I'm not recommending that E-Harmony bullshit because I find dating services to be utterly insulting. I think that women, and men too, are just so scared to be alone that they sacrifice standards for the illusion of intimacy. Personally, I just wished the mixed messages would be more clear. Every single girl wants something different from me. Its like I don't know whether to be the nice guy, the smart guy, the tough guy, the athletic guy, the sensitive guy, the funny guy, or the ever-popular asshole. I'm not a very good asshole, but for some reason they do extremely well. Half of the time I forget who I am because I'm playing musical chairs with these girls.
With that being said I'll list the things that women want, in my very narrow and probably compromised perspective

1. Security
What this entails is more than just someone who makes them feel "protected". Women want someone with whom trust is not an issue and who they can feel comfortable with. Financial security also seems to be a big issue with women. I feel that this contradicts a lot of what women want. Supposedly material things aren't an issue for women but the fact that some relationships are predicated on a financial portfolio is pretty scary. I really don't understand what the big obsession is. I don't really value money though. I need to to live but I have no aspirations to become Bill Gates.

2. Intimacy
In my estimation, women are looking for something beyond the 10-15 minutes of pleasure that we supposedly give. I say supposedly because I am not that dellusional to believe that I have pleasured every woman I have been with (I kind of notice the bored look). Intimacy is when two people are allowed to connect on a level that transcends physicality and moves to something tangible without corrupting it with lust. Most couples can't achieve true intimacy because with intimacy comes vulnerability, which is an exceptionally scary concept for men. I understand why women want this but I believe that it is something that is hard to achieve because the human condition is such that it is hard to expose feelings with another human being on a completely honest level without fear of emotional or social repercussions.

3. Compassion
Compassion is basically the ability to sympathize and empathize with someone. Sounds easy, right? Well its hard to do because people are not naturally clairvoyant, therefore, its hard to tell what people are thinking. The other thing about compassion is that most people are so self-absorbed that they cannot possibly imagine another existence outside of their own. Its sad but its true. Not all the time, but more often than most people want to admit.

4. Confidence
This is a big one. At any age, confidence always wins over, which explains my lack of romantic conquests. Ugh! A woman wants someone who is self-assured an projects that. Futility and apathy are not "hot" qualities. The problem is that some people tend to push confidence a little too far and make the rest of the species, particularly the male counterpart, look REALLY bad. Not all men are dumbasses, we have our moments of mental laxity but for the most part we are OK. I might be an asshole, but I'm not a fucking asshole.

Well hopefully this solves some of the riddle. Or maybe sheds some light on the eternal question of what women want. Some people might ask what men want. We are pretty easy. 1. Make us laugh 2. Be real 3. Make us a sandwich 4. Pleasure us orally and 5. Don't talk as much. We are simple. I'll be the first to admit it. The emotional connection would be nice, but a sandwich ends up lasting longer usually. Damn I'm a bitter bastard.